1. First and foremost, a relationship should benefit one's spiritual life; help you grow as a believer.
2. I believe a relationship should go sooooo slooooow..... meaning that, the first step should be becoming really close friends. you do NOT need the physical part of a relationship one week into it. And this time frame of getting to know each other may be different for different couples, but really. What is the hurry? My relationship went way too fast for me and it really put me in a slump and scared the crap out of my parents. A relationship is built on the idea of getting to know one another, not being physical.
3. Keep your friends in mind at all times. One of the worst things you can do to your friends is make them feel awkward. If you and your significant other are always holding hands or cuddling when you are together, something is wrong. Your hormones are ruling the relationship. And it is no fun being the friends that have to sit there and watch. I have been both the girlfriend and the friend that had to watch. NOT FUN either way. Your friends just want to keep having awesome adventures with you, not sit around and watch movies so you and your girlfriend/boyfriend can cuddle.
4. Be a part of each other's family. Get to know the parents and siblings. It helps you get to know your significant other even better. In my last relationship, my boyfriend did not want me to get to know his family or get to know mine. I have no idea why, but it made me really sad. Being a part of my boyfriend's family would be really cool. In addition to that, let's just say that you end up getting married. You do not want to have to get to know the family after you are engaged and have to be forced to like one another. It is just not a healthy situation.
And 5. last but not least, Keep your bodies pure. that is all I am going to say.
Those are the top 5 important things in a relationship, that I believe should be kept in mind when entering, revisiting or just fixing a relationship.
I really liked this post, and I suppose I'll respond to each of your points in turn:
ReplyDelete1. I love that you take the view that it should benefit your relationship with God, while the much more common view, especially among teens and young adults, is that it simply shouldn't hurt your walk.
2. Another often overlooked step, courting, the part where you get to know each other without the physical part of the relationship or the title of girlfriend and boyfriend. Nowadays this is most often seen with friends who just start hanging out more often, then become best friends, and then start "officially" dating. Still, this step is all too often skipped, with people meeting and then immediately going out on a date and before you know it they're "together."
3. I personally don't see anything wrong with holding hands, but I definitely get you on the cuddling. An even worse thing than this can be if you just stop hanging out with your other friends and spend all of your time hanging out only with each other. Alienating yourself like this causes the same rifts, or worse, and if the relationship ends then you're truly alone until you win your friends back.
4. Couldn't agree more. I haven't actually had a relationship in which this was managed, but my favorite friendships are the ones where I will see their parents or siblings without my friend anywhere around and be able to strike up a conversation without feeling awkward.
5. All that really needs to be said. :)
Thank you so much for responding! You had some great things to say! It really made my day. (no, i did not mean to rhyme, but hey) ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd that rhyming may have made my day. :D
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